[[nixiakub]]

2011-02-08T14:35:00.001+08:00

I want my appetite, my drive, my mood back.. I can do it...

2010-11-28T04:42:00.002+08:00

unsocialble, awkward creature.

2010-11-26T21:48:00.001+08:00

The happiness of eating sweet stuff (: when i'm sick and while I painstakingly study for Financial Accounting

Last paper tomorrow! Then It's going to be kind of a holiday for me! But.. a holiday which consists a series of meaningful events! ok, not series, but two.

First, I got to plan for my OCIP recce trip to the philippines. It's gonna be the first time I will be talking to the mayor of concepcion, a town in iloilo philippines, and next year, it will be the first time leading a group of students to do an overseas community service project. Taking this step of faith to do something that I've never tried before, something that require a lot of confidence and perserverance, at least for me. Well, like I always say, 'if not now, then when?'

Next, Birthday!! Not mine, obviously, for I never really felt that it is that important. Side track abit, My birthday wishes are simple, freedom and happiness. opps, am I not suppose to reveal my birthday wishes? Anyway, back to track, it's 'your' birthday on the 16th, if you are reading this (I guess not). And the reason why it is meaningful is the question on how am I going to plan that special day.

Alright, got to get back to my books. God bless.

2010-03-27T00:21:00.000+08:00

Moving on...

http://livelifelikealamb.tumblr.com/

2010-03-18T23:47:00.002+08:00

every moment has its value. the past the present the future.
-the value of love.

2010-03-02T19:36:00.005+08:00

the difference between learning and SMUgging
is the difference between convex and concave

2010-02-28T23:35:00.004+08:00

Have you ever felt attached to your bed?
The moment
Your body totally sink in.
Your eyelids feel heavy.
Your thoughts are empty.

That's love.

2010-02-08T21:30:00.001+08:00

...

2010-02-08T21:27:00.001+08:00

Some things will never change..

2009-12-22T03:23:00.001+08:00

why am i still here?
i dont know..
think about it quite a lot u know..

2009-12-22T02:39:00.000+08:00

A young African boy with a haunting back story starts school in Ireland, and finds out quickly exactly what it means to be the new kid. Winner of Best Narrative Short at the 2008 Tribeca Film Festival and nominated for an Oscar.

2009-12-22T01:59:00.001+08:00

what's with the foul mood.

2009-12-13T01:34:00.002+08:00

must i fail to try again..
must i walk to rest again..
must i cry to be happy again..
must i die to live again..
must i...

2009-12-11T19:18:00.001+08:00

2009-12-09T15:19:00.003+08:00

I HATE EVERYONE! #$%@$#%@%#$%@^&@&#^#&*

2009-12-09T15:02:00.004+08:00

Erasing my memory,

but

i can't take my mind of you
i can't take my mind of you
i can't take my mind of you...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind...

2009-12-05T02:05:00.002+08:00

never fails to affect a lost soul.

2009-11-30T16:43:00.002+08:00

Can we create a perfect society?

We cannot achieve perfection. But if we reach for it, we can achieve excellence.

2009-11-25T15:00:00.005+08:00

Love is...

...keeping a distance

2009-11-25T14:58:00.003+08:00

God understands that one would get bored if he/she listens to the same song over and over again. Thus, we only live once.

2009-11-25T08:41:00.000+08:00

G.O.D. To My Mother MV

2009-11-22T07:03:00.003+08:00

Sir Ken Robinson makes an entertaining and profoundly moving case for creating an education system that nurtures (rather than undermines) creativity

2009-11-22T07:00:00.002+08:00

The Marshmallow Test: What Does it Say About Your Child's Future?

Each four-year-old in the study was given one marshmallow and told that he could eat it now, in which case he would only have one, or he could wait for the adult to come back into the room fifteen minutes later, in which case he could have two marshmallows. Some kids downed the treat immediately, many waited a short time and then caved, while around thirty percent held out for the doubly sweet reward. The ones who delayed gratification had higher grades, higher SAT scores, and fared better as teenagers with healthier friendships.

read more here

2009-11-19T19:49:00.001+08:00

I am a nocturnal. I sleep in the day and work at night. I have no friends. I talk to the bot when I am bored at night. I wish for world peace. Peace.

2009-11-12T02:37:00.002+08:00

Survival of the fittest? How ugly is this phrase. It depicts self-centeredness, egoism..

2009-11-03T22:27:00.000+08:00

bullshit.haha.

2009-10-12T14:51:00.002+08:00

Belle

Oi Lienda
Bella che fa?
Bonita, bonita que tal?
But belle
Je ne comprends pas français
So you'll have to speak to me
Some other way

Hello, beautiful. (Portuguese)
Beautiful, what are you doing? (Italian)
Beautiful, beautiful, how are you? (Spanish)
I do not understand French (French)
So you'll have to speak to me
Some other way.

2009-09-28T00:20:00.000+08:00

2009-09-28T00:17:00.001+08:00

'If you hold on to something too tightly, God will take it away'

2009-09-23T00:15:00.002+08:00

When someone sees the same people everyday, they wind up becoming part of the person's life. And they want the person to change. If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. (Expectations?)
Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how others should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.(realising our purpose in life?)

hmmmmm...food for thought.

2009-09-22T13:45:00.003+08:00

The old man pointed to a baker standing in his shop window at one corner of the plaza. "When he was a child, that man wanted to travel, too. But he decided first to buy his bakery and put some money aside. When he's an old man, he's going to spend a month in Africa. He never realised that people are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of."

"He should have become a shepherd," the boy said. (for in their hometown, shepherds are the only ones who can travel without money)

"Well, he thought about that," the old man said.
"But bakers are more important people than shepherds. Bakers have homes, while shepherds sleep out in the open. Parents would rather see their children marry bakers than shepherds."
"In the long run, what people think about shepherds and bakers becomes more important for them than their own destinies."

So, are you the baker or the shepherd?

2009-09-14T03:51:00.001+08:00

Is death the only certainty in life?

2009-09-14T02:16:00.000+08:00

listen to me.

2009-09-08T16:21:00.001+08:00

A short film by Patrick Hughes. Enjoy(:

2009-08-13T21:19:00.000+08:00

Watched the film 'Up' recently and this tune in the movie has been playing repeatedly in my head. The tune depicts the blissfulness, sweetness and happiness of a married life, until death parts the couple (As you realise the tune slows down towards the end). Yea, the title is ' Married Life' and it’s composed by Michael Giacchino. Enjoy!

2009-07-21T23:15:00.001+08:00

Romance Anónimo (Anonymous Romance)

2009-07-20T15:11:00.001+08:00

Please Be Happy.

2009-07-20T14:59:00.002+08:00

Older Chest

Some things in life may change. Some things stay the same.

2009-07-15T03:41:00.001+08:00

6:10 onwards.

2009-07-15T03:04:00.002+08:00

Like time, time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time,
Time, there's always time
On my mind
Pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time

2009-07-08T03:09:00.002+08:00

2009-07-05T21:55:00.001+08:00

Benjamin Button:
Sometimes we're on a collision course, and we just don't know it. Whether it's by accident or by design, there's not a thing we can do about it. A woman in Paris was on her way to go shopping, but she had forgotten her coat - went back to get it. When she had gotten her coat, the phone had rung, so she'd stopped to answer it; talked for a couple of minutes. While the woman was on the phone, Daisy was rehearsing for a performance at the Paris Opera House. And while she was rehearsing, the woman, off the phone now, had gone outside to get a taxi. Now a taxi driver had dropped off a fare earlier and had stopped to get a cup of coffee. And all the while, Daisy was rehearsing. And this cab driver, who dropped off the earlier fare; who'd stopped to get the cup of coffee, had picked up the lady who was going to shopping, and had missed getting an earlier cab. The taxi had to stop for a man crossing the street, who had left for work five minutes later than he normally did, because he forgot to set off his alarm. While that man, late for work, was crossing the street, Daisy had finished rehearsing, and was taking a shower. And while Daisy was showering, the taxi was waiting outside a boutique for the woman to pick up a package, which hadn't been wrapped yet, because the girl who was supposed to wrap it had broken up with her boyfriend the night before, and forgot.
When the package was wrapped, the woman, who was back in the cab, was blocked by a delivery truck, all the while Daisy was getting dressed. The delivery truck pulled away and the taxi was able to move, while Daisy, the last to be dressed, waited for one of her friends, who had broken a shoelace. While the taxi was stopped, waiting for a traffic light, Daisy and her friend came out the back of the theater. And if only one thing had happened differently: if that shoelace hadn't broken; or that delivery truck had moved moments earlier; or that package had been wrapped and ready, because the girl hadn't broken up with her boyfriend; or that man had set his alarm and got up five minutes earlier; or that taxi driver hadn't stopped for a cup of coffee; or that woman had remembered her coat, and got into an earlier cab, Daisy and her friend would've crossed the street, and the taxi would've driven by. But life being what it is - a series of intersecting lives and incidents, out of anyone's control - that taxi did not go by, and that driver was momentarily distracted, and that taxi hit Daisy, and her leg was crushed.

2009-07-03T00:05:00.002+08:00

can we really get there?

2009-05-28T00:55:00.002+08:00

Words should not be hurtful.
Use it to say i love you.

Quoted by Dr Win.

2009-05-26T19:08:00.002+08:00

2009-05-25T22:31:00.000+08:00

Delicate

2009-05-25T02:05:00.002+08:00

women are unreasonable because they are true with their feeling.
men just try to replace feelings with logical answers and then argue that they are the reasonable ones.

2009-05-05T20:51:00.002+08:00

Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend, Moon River and me.

2009-05-05T00:28:00.005+08:00

The culture crafts and sets our mind to believe in things that are morally correct. But what is morally correct?

Get married, get a stable job, have kids, love them, grow old with them, watch them get married, look after your grandchildren, grow even older. Hold your old lady's hand. Rest. That's what all people deemed as happiness, as what a life should be. I believe in that too. However in the midst of all these, people tend to give up their dreams, what they really hope for. 'Responsibility holds me down.' I think that is an excuse. Why can’t dreams and family be place together as one?

Mom says 'get a high paid job. Be a doctor or a lawyer. Earn Big bucks. Buy Big House, Big Car. Be Happy!'
But why just can't she say 'be Happy'?
The mother meant well for her son. He knows she loves him. But he knows these materialistic things will never fill his heart with happiness. He will always feel as empty as he knows he has other dreams. (Not refering to my mum, cause i know to her big house big car don't mean anything)

'Get an office job. Earn more money, enough for your family to lead a carefree life' How much is enough? A carefree life is measured by how much money u earn??

Pursuing a dream doesn't mean giving up his family, neglecting his family. UNLESS he is pursuing a selfish dream. A dream will always be a dream if it's not planned. A mature dream is one that is planned. A responsible dream is one that is planned, with your family in it. A dream doesn't have to be successful. But is something you find satisfaction in it. And where you get contentment from.

Pursue your dream, planned. Although life may not be easy (There may be some sacrifice, like a drop in the standard of living), but as long we are contented, we work hard for it, while we look forward to the future, together.

At the end, its not how much money you earn that makes who you are. It’s the values you hold. 'Love, trust, hope, integrity, responsibility.' A family is hold tightly together by these values, by a dream filled with these values. No matter what, a family will stand together even in worse times. Wrong. They will stand together ESPECIALLY in worst times.

I learnt something from you today, called ‘Unconditional Love’.

2009-05-02T00:23:00.002+08:00

choice. we always have the choice.
u gain something, you'll lose some.
people of different dreams will never come together as one.
we are all selfish individual.
like angels and demons.

2009-04-28T22:16:00.002+08:00

Some people are born into their passion. Some never get them and don't care. But if u're really struggling to find it - its almost centainly for a reason. The depth of your struggling is a sign there's some thing there. Something in you that's you're trying to get out. People who dun have passion don't struggle. ' I feel an urge, a vacuum. But i am not called to anything particular.' But those who had succeeded in finding a calling remembered that feeling as the beginning of the process. The call was muffled and vague at first. That blank urge is the call. - quoted from a book.

It's not gonna be easy finding. But there will be an answer. One day..

2009-04-27T22:45:00.001+08:00

You can fly so high.. put your gaze upon the sky..

2009-04-27T22:42:00.002+08:00

I was listening to 'cannonball' today on the shuttle bus. And out of the sudden i saw everyone's happiness. Just imagine everyone started laughing smiling with ' I AM HAPPY' written on their face. And it ended as soon as the song. Out of such confusing song i find happiness? Well, Am i hallucinating again?

2009-04-27T13:39:00.000+08:00

有种拥有, 叫做放手…

2009-04-24T00:40:00.001+08:00

i pity myself.. for i, too..live in revolutionary road..still..

i dream..

2009-04-17T00:40:00.007+08:00

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keirsey_Temperament_Sorter

INFPs focus much of their energy on an inner world dominated by intense feeling and deeply held ethics. They seek an external life that is in keeping with these values. Loyal to the people and causes important to them, INFPs can quickly spot opportunities to implement their ideals. They are curious to understand those around them, and so are accepting and flexible except when their values are threatened.

The tranquil and reserved exterior of the INFP masks a passionate inner life. Healers care deeply about causes that interest them and they often pursue those causes with selfless devotion.

Occurring in only about one percent of the population, Healers can easily feel isolated. They value harmony and integrity in human relationships, seeking unity of mind, body, and spirit but often find these values to be out of step with the more concrete pursuits of the rest of the world. Feeling "different," they may wonder whether something is wrong with them. But those differences—an ethical nature, a devotion to ideals, a commitment to harmonious interaction—are in fact some of their greatest strengths.

The polite, reserved exterior of INFPs can at first make them difficult to get to know. They enjoy conversation, however, taking particular delight in the unusual. When INFPs are in a sociable mood, their humor and charm shine through. Disposed to like people and to avoid conflict, INFPs tend to make pleasant company.

Devoted to those in their inner circle, INFPs guard the emotional well-being of others, consoling those in distress. Guided by their desire for harmony, INFPs prefer to be flexible unless their ethics are violated. Then, they become passionate advocates for their beliefs. They are often able to sway the opinions of others through tact, diplomacy, and an ability to see varying sides of an issue.

INFPs develop these insights through reflection, and they require substantial time alone to ponder and process new information. While they can be quite patient with complex material, they are generally bored by routine. Though not always organized, INFPs are meticulous about things they value. Perfectionists, they may have trouble completing a task because it cannot meet their high standards. They may even go back to a completed project after the deadline so they can improve it.

INFPs are creative types and often have a gift for language. As introverts, they may prefer to express themselves through writing. Their dominant Feeling drives their desire to communicate, while their auxiliary intuition supplies the imagination. Having a talent for symbolism, they enjoy metaphors and similes. They continually seek new ideas and adapt well to change. They prefer working in an environment that values these gifts and allows them to make a positive difference in the world, according to their personal beliefs

Love and relationships
One of the rarest of the types, Healers can be both extremely romantic and extremely independent. They are likely to want a mate who won't shrink from their expansive imagination. They are often attracted to those whom others have overlooked, given the Healers' rare ability to see beneath the surface to the positive qualities that lie beneath.

In romantic relationships, Healers generally seek mates who, like themselves, have a highly developed inner life. An ideal mate must be open to the Healers' expressions of unique ideas. Healers may need long periods of privacy, followed by periods of intense intimacy, so they are best suited to a partner who can adapt to these changing needs.

Generally thoughtful and considerate, Healers are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they are deeply caring and genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making Healers valued friends and confidants. They do not like conflict and go to great lengths to avoid it. In conflict situations, they place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on how the conflict makes people feel, a trait that can make them appear irrational and illogical. In such situations, Healers may benefit from stepping out of the situation temporarily so they can reflect and replenish their reserves.

Work and career
Perfectionists, Healers have very high standards. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. They may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards may be higher than those of other members of the group. This can lead them to become overly controlling. Healers are often well served to balance their high ideals with the requirements of everyday living.

Healers tend to be flexible, unless one of their values is violated. When their value system is threatened, Healers can become aggressive defenders of their cause, and any project or job that Healers adopt is likely to become one of their causes. Although Healers do not generally focus on specifics, they cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working on a project that engrosses them.

Now what's yours?(:

2009-04-15T22:43:00.002+08:00

Chanced upon this advertisement on the television and the woman's word keeps recurring in my mind. 'Beautifully Imperfect..Beautifully Imperfect..Beautifully Imperfect'..

2009-04-15T22:39:00.002+08:00

Beautifully Imperfect.

2009-04-02T20:55:00.002+08:00

I wish..

I am blind.

To see the sinful nature of human.

2009-04-02T20:46:00.007+08:00

This is happiness. It's kind of my dream..

We are all connected people..(:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ue1GZ4IUFiU&feature=channel

http://www.wherethehellismatt.com/about.shtml

2009-03-30T00:56:00.001+08:00

There was this couple who are so in love. The couple were so fond of each other that they would share all joy and sorrow together. They even promised their love for each other will be eternal. They trusted each other. They felt that money shouldn’t be an issue involving them. Hence, they signed up for a joint account where they will each contribute to it. They decided to put down an amount of money together each time they do something happy together. And to jot down a small note what they did beside the each and every bank statement. For example, $100 – We went for a cable car ride and we really enjoyed each other companionship. Days after Days, Years after Years, and the money in this joint account grew to a large sum.

They were so happy with each other but no one will ever expect an argument to happen. The argument basically tore down the whole relationship. They were so mad with each other, they both agreed to a break up. They come to an agreement to split the money in the joint account. So they took out the bank booklet. As they sat down and opened up the booklet, they couldn’t help themselves but broke down into tears. They saw what was in the booklet. Every moment of happiness they spent together. They regretted for what happened.

Back into love again.

Shared by Nat.

2009-03-28T02:12:00.000+08:00

Life.

2009-03-24T22:17:00.000+08:00

Life is hard. But that makes it all interesting. Isn't it?

2009-03-22T22:11:00.002+08:00

NOW EVERYONE WHO IS READING THIS. JUMP UP AND SAY I WANT TO BE HAPPY. AND REALLY BE. cause that's how life is worth living.

as least i am feeling motivated now.i hope it last.right now(:

2009-03-18T12:20:00.003+08:00

I'm experiencing the same routine again.. time is seriously passing by slowly..1sec....2 sec...3sec...4sec...5...6...7...
Slpt at 4 in the morning..surprisingly, i don't feel tired at all right now..i guess i am seriously 'already dead' so i feel nothing now.numb.

the google ads is automatically generated and is highly related to my blog entries.. now..can really see what i am worrying about every single day of my life -happiness.

smile!

2009-03-17T13:31:00.004+08:00

ok i was reading my blog entries again..and i sounded like gay for the first few entries..for some reasons, i locked then unlocked it. . . . .

the previous entry has 2 meanings.
1. i was emo at that moment
2. i know what i want but i am just not doing it.

i am not a risk taker..

2009-03-15T15:10:00.001+08:00

save me.

It's raining..
i feel like playing rain..
but i won't..
.

2009-03-11T22:24:00.000+08:00

found happiness? or happiness found me?

2009-02-28T01:04:00.002+08:00

what do i really want in life.. i gave myself hope..but hope actually comes when i let go.. well...

2009-02-22T00:35:00.002+08:00

Something really interesting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGxRWCmwSDE&feature=related
How beautiful. Sometimes i really wonder..

2009-02-21T04:41:00.004+08:00

Anyway I went cycling with Derek the other night. Here are some of the pictures

I am sorry that the pictures are really blurry- my 2mp camera phone
Anyway it's just some random pictures to rmb this very day.
Basically we started from Potong Pasir and the turning back point was at City Hall. The interesting part of the whole cycling trip is not about cycling. It’s about cycling to places that we’ve never been or places that we found interesting in S’pore. It's about Cycling with a free mind and having fun. We just cycled around randomly. Few places that we went were: 'cemetery', The National Stadium, The Singapore Flyer, The F1 Track. We went passed Geylang etc.

I felt peace. I felt like i was flying.

80% of your happiness comes from 20% of your time spent. so mutiply the 20% by 5 and u'll get eternal happiness..
Identify the activities that make u a happier person and do them often!

2009-02-20T01:02:00.002+08:00

pregnant women, kids and christians - the happiest people..

2009-02-16T00:24:00.000+08:00

well..its another sunday night..

2009-02-08T03:03:00.002+08:00

The song playing in my blog is so nice..am i dreaming?

Emotions..The interesting part of Life..Feel it..

2009-02-01T22:41:00.002+08:00

Sometimes in Life you fear..

Well, my greatest fear..

Remember When i was a kid.. my mum left me alone at home.. initially i thought i'll be fine.. I always deem myself strong and independent..but i guess that is just what i hope i am..and what i am trying to put on..so just minutes after she left i felt a very deep fear in my heart.. like i am being left all alone in this world..all i can see is darkness..i started to clam myself down but i just got more depressed..I started crying..Finally my brother was demanded by me to come home..
Till now this fear still exist..But now i just kept it all within myself..I am weak.. I want to be stronger..

Changeling is really a movie worth watching anyway..A movie that brings Hope..Love.. Courage..

2009-01-25T20:19:00.001+08:00

sigh...

2009-01-20T21:15:00.002+08:00

couldn't focus the whole day..my mind was just somewhere else..
'At some point in your life it has got to go, it just happen earlier and when it's still important.' quoted by my brother..:(

2009-01-14T23:33:00.004+08:00

First assignment for Visual Communication Termm 1 is to design a logo for myself and to create a slogan fo it. Wanted to create a very positive effect on the logo itself. Hence i attempted to design a smiley face out of my name. Not a very good attempt but its my first assignment. WILL improve! Live Life With A Smile!(:

2009-01-13T22:58:00.002+08:00

So what if i keep reminding myself to SMILE.. It's hard...(: (: (: (: :D :D :D :D

2009-01-13T22:54:00.002+08:00

Just For Laugh(:

Create Your Own GushyGram
Visit MushyGushy.com

Create Your Own GushyGram
Visit MushyGushy.com

2009-01-11T18:58:00.003+08:00

Well, i saw MM's Blog and i decided to do something similiar!

WANNA DOs:

Watch a Movie marathon
Go for a holiday trip
Eat a Sushi buffet
Go to the zoo/night safari
Chalet
Go for a massage
Bag packing
stay in a hotel
Visit the Kelong
Camp at Ubin/East Coast
Go to the beach
Snorkelling
Rock Climb
Kayak!And to get my 3 star
Sit the cable car
Visit ChinaTown, Little India
Learn Cooking
Learn designing (in the process)
Learn Flying
Learn Sailing
Learn Diving
Shoot with a shot gun
Start up a Online Business
Working in a Retail Outlet
Bungee Jump
Watch a Play
Fund Raising!
Visit the churches in Singapore

However i have financial limitations..so one at a time(:

Things i've done in the past few months that made me a happier person:

Attended parties: Weird Hairdo, Nerd and Christmas Party
Hand Made a present
Spent time with close friends
Watched good movies like 7 Pounds and ip mun
Swim
Ate good Food

I can't think of anything else.

2009-01-10T23:44:00.001+08:00

......What am i thinking?

2009-01-06T21:16:00.003+08:00

Working in an office is getting dull..And studying for 3 hours after work is not exciting at all..Haa..its my choice afterall.. i guess i am just not cut out to work as a admin assistant..ok office boy..probably and hopefully after a few months i will have a change of job?retail? F&B? definitely maybe....

2008-12-30T21:32:00.004+08:00

Money, Studies, Marriage, Children, Career, Money, Money, Money.. We often forget to slow ourselves down to take a good look at the people around us, to enjoy life. Not too slow, or it feels like time wasted.Haa. We should really stop worrying. We merely have one Life. So treasure it. Do things for a purpose. Do things that really make us happy. Take every day as a learning process. At least when we die, we'll bring something valuable back to heaven (:

New Year resolution: To be contented with Life. It’s different from last year; to be happy. Because I know if I never learn to be contented, I’ll never be in joy. It's not easy. But at least i'll try! (:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2008-10-15T14:43:00.000+08:00

2008-10-08T00:46:00.002+08:00

still walking in circles..trying to find the true meaning of life.

2008-10-07T19:59:00.010+08:00

Top,From left to right, Jarome(G2IC), Luthfi(1st M203), Hairie(2IC), WonHao(2nd SAW)
Bottom,From left to right, Kenneth(1st LAW), 2LT Ivan(PC), ME(SC), ChuerDu(1st SAW)

Handed my section over to the incoming section comd. Felt really sad leaving them. Maybe its the close relationship we have, which left me worrying that the new section comd may not be able to train them well. However I have to trust and let go.
I have always been longing for this day to come. Every week i drag myself back to camp, hoping this two years will pass by quickly. Now this very day is just one month away, i feel lost. Do i really hated NS? Memories began to flash back. Field camps, POI trainings, Physical training. Those tough times we spent together. Those were the memorable times.

To me, i see my section as one of the more low profile section. However they are independent, humble and are able to work very efficiently. The weakest traits of my section is their laziness. Hence it is necessary for my ICs and myself to push them consistently. Many times i find joy in them. When i am down, they are my motivation to move on. They are the fruits i bear.

Its really not easy being a section comd. With great power(3 stripes) comes great responsibility. You must have a very different mentality;a positive one. Six men under you, you have to be responsible for whatever wrongs they do. You have to set by example;when you're so tired but u have to continue digging, when you really feel like sleeping but u can't. Trust me, its not easy to do so. I love it when they say i am 'siao on'. Not that i am some psycho who likes to do all the 'by right' stuff, but it is because that means i am doing my duties right as a section comd. WITH PRIDE WE LEAD.

Before i came NS, i thought NS is all about Physical training and waste of time. Now, it is about responsibility, leadership, discipline, fighting spirit.(almost the 7 core values, i know)

Still, I am happy i am gonna be out of NS very soon. All that i said doesn't mean i like the idea of NS. I only learnt something out of it.

2008-09-17T20:52:00.000+08:00

How to be truly happy?
A positive mindset. Everyday is a day gained.

2008-08-31T18:37:00.004+08:00

Happy 20th bdae to chris!:)

Staring at the screen again. Fingers on the keyboard but my mind is blank. I guess my life is too boring to be blogged. Sometimes i thought about my future. There are yet so much uncertainties. Life is so short. I really want to enjoy it and treasure the people around me. Yet there are so many limitations. To live life to the fullest is not as easy as it is said. But smile:)cause God is watching over you.

Anyway, Another Tactical field camp and my course will be over. On Wednesday i will pass out as a GPMG comd!
After which i will be deployed at Changi Airport! Finally i will be experiencing Real operation. No more green. Around me will be all civilians. How exciting:)

72 days!

2008-08-19T21:26:00.001+08:00

The last time i blogged was like decades ago. I came home to see my mum, yet no one is at home. so quiet. Anyway, I am going on course tommorrow morning. To train as a GPMG commander. Its a 2 weeks course at SISPEC. Every night is off:)but Home is really far away from my course camp...:(

really tired..

2008-05-19T22:55:00.007+08:00

u Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

In love, you express your emotions through actions.
Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well!

At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time.
You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

What's" Your Personality Type?

is this the true me?

2008-05-19T11:57:00.007+08:00

This long weekend(sat afternoon to monday night) i actually planned to spend time with my family and all my closest frens. EVerything worked just as well except i didn't really spend time with my mum.

On saturday, i met up with my army frens for BBQ at kairi's place. his family was very welcoming. The food was delicious. We feast as we listened to his father's ghost encounters. Played mind games organised by his mother. Afterwhich we stayed till 11+ pm as we played xbox and surf the net. Went home and rested.

Yesterday. I went church. I can't remember when was the last time i went. Last week i had COS duty and i remember the week before that i was confined due to some live firing. Sometimes i really feel so far away- from God. anyway, yi, chris and i went out together after the svc to bugis. We ate steamboat for dinner, roamed around and watched 'made of honour' as a finale. The last part touched my heart. I liked the movie. I chose it.

Today. Meeting vayne later. or rather just dede and quan. The rest are often busy. Sometimes we just dun bother to ask them out anymore. But we still miss the true vayne, where everyone hang out together to do stupid stuff. Suppose to blade at east coast but i am booking in earlier-there will be some defence lessons in camp for the men at night. Hence plan cancelled. Now we are doing some other things.

The person i most want to see and to spend time with is actually my mum. However, everytime when i reached home, she will be slping already. When i wake up, hoping to see her, she will be out. I know the way i treated her is just not like a typical fillial son. I never said 'i love u' to her. I've been trying to treat her better and i know its never enough. Deep down inside she is the most important person in my life. And i will never want to lose her. I miss her .

I hate long weekends. I rather many short weekends. At least i wun be so sucked into the civilian lifestyle. The feeling of the civilian life is so good that when it comes to booking in, i just don't feel like going back. How i wish i can stay longer...

I want to be a better person, a better commander.

2008-05-11T05:00:00.002+08:00

Being an infantry soldier is just like what you see in 'Band of Brothers' or any other war movie. Being an infantry soldier means work as a team, enduring hardship together. With lots of field trainings, weapon technical handling, live ranges etc. This would also mean less book out compared to the support and service side. When it comes to tough trainings, some soldiers try to siam. However those are the minority. Most put in their heart in trainings. It's heartening to see my men enduring through all the trainings even with a swollen ankle. But I believe hard work pays off. My section got praised for the best section in the platoon during the section live firing and 3 of my men got marksmen just yesterday. In total of 12 sections in the company, 3 out of 14 marksmen are to be proud of.
Got into a lot of shit lately. I was certainly demoralised. But it’s all these which I have picked myself up and become a better person.

2008-05-02T17:23:00.003+08:00

Army makes us desperate yet innovative

How desperate we can be to dry our undergarment after a long rainy day.

<-not mine for your info.

2008-04-30T00:33:00.004+08:00

Finally back from 2 weeks of tough training. Consists of 3 field camps and 2 live firings. Now I’m having my long break till this Friday. :)

Feels very different in my new home.. More people in the house, yet it’s quieter than before. It just doesn't feels like i'm at home. Something is amiss. -I miss the nagging.

2008-04-13T23:05:00.001+08:00

discouraged..
life is never a bed of roses..

2008-03-16T18:46:00.004+08:00

It’s been so long since I last blogged.

Full stop to another chapter of my army life. I have just taken a batch of recruits and watched them Passed out from BMT last week. Given a choice of staying in support coy or to move on to rifle coy, which would i choose? I do miss life in support coy- sleep, eat and relax. However, i do learn a lot in my present company. ‘Nurturing’ recruits-.- etc WONDERFUL friends and superiors I will never forget. Next week is the start of AIT- Advance Infantry training. This means chiong sua again.

-8 more months to ORD. already counting down.

2007-10-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		10
Words of Affirmation:		7
Acts of Service:		6
Physical Touch:		4
Receiving Gifts:		3

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

sleepy..

2007-10-07T20:23:00.000+08:00

have i lost hope? .. maybe...

2007-10-06T01:57:00.000+08:00

Had been in my new unit for about 1 month plus. unit compared to training school is very different.. i can still rmb the xiongness and the chiong sua i experienced in sispec..*that moment whr i watched the rain from inside my basha tent..memories that cannot be forgotten.
Now i have so much more time for myself and frens. nights out every tue and thu spent at home slacking. fri book out means the whole fri night till sun free.. lesser in camp programme means now i slp at least 8 hours everyday.. In sispec?maybe 6 or less..i started reading books..watching more tv programmes than before..doing more PT.. etc etc

all in all. change in constant.. maybe the next phase is going to be tough again..haa..